Is Age But a Number?

Another anonymous contribution:

Okay, so I’ve been reading these posts ever since this blog was created and have been debating as to what I should write about and have finally found just the perfect issue that pertains to me and my experiences.


So, we’ve all heard of couples where the two are more than fifteen years apart in age. It’s like taboo to marry, let alone date someone who is that much older than you. But in my previous few dates, the guys have been ten to eighteen years older than me but not because I’m not attractive enough to get guys my own age. I’ve had a serious relationship with a guy who was 21 years old as well as more than a few hook ups with attractive guys in my age range (20-23). There is just something in older guys that I find attractive, maybe its maturity or stability?

I guess this goes back to the question – what am I really looking for? I was recently speaking to a friend who told me that I’m 20 years old, I should be having fun and not to worry about a relationship until later on. Many friends have told me that. I know I want a relationship but what kind? Something serious? Something pretty short term? Or long term?

I’m a huge fan of security, stability, and predictability. Is this what older guys offer me? I guess I’m quick to judge younger gays as looking to mess around, to live for the moment, and people who are not into the entire commitment thing. It’s pretty bad that even as a gay male, I am quick to see my own young gay community as a bunch of guys who go and get with every other gay. Maybe that’s why I tend to go for older guys because I think they’re ready to settle down and therefore, more stable and more reliable as boyfriends. In addition to this, I am very attracted to their maturity as far as relationships and not to put myself on a pedestal, but I think that I am a bit more mature when it comes to relationships than many gay males my age. You might think well, they may be mature but that I would have no way in connecting with them on a social level at all. Wrong. Some of my best conversations have been with these older guys and I just really connected in ways with them that I have yet to encounter with the younger gay crowd.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a standard of the older guys I’ve been with as far as appearance – I don’t do the balding, bad teeth, wrinkly skin kind of thing – but you’d be surprised how good some of them look and you wouldn’t even know they were in their 30s. If you knew me, you would know that I place a lot of emphasis on primary physical appearance but after that initial attraction, its all personality from there and most of these guys, not all, are still on my radar.

You may think I’m untraditional for continuing to date older men but there are so many reasons that I can’t verbalize. Just to let you all know, I’m always willing to give any guy a chance, subject to the fact that I’m attracted to them of course, but I have yet to find that younger gay guy who stimulates me both physically and mentally. If you’re out there, give me a shout haha.