I have been gradually coming out to more and more people here at Duke, but I have really yet to find a place suited to me for meeting and hanging out with other gay guys (and girls). While I haven't been too actively exploring my options, I still have begun to get a little frustrated by what I know to be my available choices. I see guys talking on here about their great experiences at Duke, and in other posts they mention their boyfriends and bringing guys back to their rooms. This at least affirms that there are ways of meeting people at Duke. My question for everyone, however, is where have you personally met your LGBT friends and partners at Duke and in the more expansive Triangle community?
Monday, January 5, 2009
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I have a good group of gay friends, but I think it can be really hard. I got kind of lucky. I met my boyfriend at a party through mutual friends. We both had other gay friends and now we have a nice group. Going to STIR in Chapel Hill and (just recently) Club 9 on the second friday of the month is a great place to meet people. It depends what you are looking for, but to find other college students, STIR is the single best place to start for other Duke and Triangle college gays.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree with WOJO. It's hard at first. But once you find one or two good friends, then things start happening pretty quickly.
ReplyDeleteI found some of my first gay friends through a mutual friend a couple of years ago. I also found one of my best gay friends through a group I was already apart of on campus. I also went to STIR with some guys I knew already and we'd meet more people. Some people cool, some people not. You eventually learn who to stay in touch with.
Earlier this year, I went to an undergraduate business conference (www.outforbusiness.com) in New York and met a lot of guys from other schools. It was an awesome experience, and if you're interested in business, it's a great way to meet guys and girls from other schools who are similar to you.
I think the most important thing really is to make a conscious effort to stay in touch with gay friends. Get lunch with them. Go out on a weekend. Do a trip. The more you make an effort to do it, the more people you'll hear about/meet. After that, it's like meeting any other friends. Some friends will turn into partners, and some partners will introduce you to some friends. It just happens once you start making steps.
I agree with the people above. The most difficult part is breaking into the community and that can happen in any number of ways. Most people probably go to the Center or one of the events there and make some friends who will introduce you to more people. I find the people who go to the Center to be very helpful in this regard.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I do know people who never go to the Center and still know a lot of LGBT people. If clubbing is your thing, STIR and THRIVE like the two previous posters said are great venues. Don't be afraid to just approach someone and just talk to them. I know that I love making new friends.
Meeting people takes initiative on your part but once you do it, it's easy to get more exposure.