No More Mr. Nice Gay

Now that we have that out of the way, no, I'm not satisfied with Duke, or the world for that matter, and I'm not going to play nice anymore.

Through my tenet that the constructs of sex/gender/desire to which we've become accustomed must necessarily be exploded for the fulfillment of any resemblance of equality I am limiting my ability to discuss the manifestations of these constructs themselves. "Quotations" are used liberally to denote a significant and specific departure from postmodernist vocabulary (or lack thereof) for the ease of discussion and comprehension.

As a point of clarification, the term heteronormativity is and should only be applied to an institutionalized framework or a way of thinking that has been perpetuated by a history of discourse on the concept of sexuality that normalizes "heterosexuality" through the otherization of any deviance. The institution of "same-sex" rooming is heteronormative, the institution of Fraternity/Sorority mixers is heteronormative, U.S. sexual education policy is heteronormative. A person is necessarily not heteronormative.

A person is heterosexist or homophobic. Heterosexism is an overarching system of thought that places sexuality in an invariable heirarchy, which through its internalization has many consequences on behavior and thought, both visible and invisible. The belief that only heterosexual relationships deserve legal benefits, relevantly exampled in the 'right' to marry, is a heterosexist sentiment. Heterosexism is often not readily apparent, even in the minds of those who embody it; the assumption that people are straight until proven gay is a form of (sometimes) invisible heterosexism. Although heteronormativity is the functional framework which allows or encourages this behavior, the thought itself is inevitably heterosexist through its holding of "heterosexuality" above or before other sexualities.

Homophobia, and here's the kicker, pun intended, is a marked irrational fear, disgust or aversion for what has come to be termed "homosexuality" or any of its other-faced cousins. Using the words queer, faggot, dyke derogatorily is homophobic. Physical and sexual abuse of a person based on identification or exhibition of "homosexuality" is homophobic.

These concepts all act reciprocally. That is to say, heterosexism and homophobia are tools utilized to perpetuate heteronormativity as much as institutionalized heteronormativity works to create and reinforce homophobia and heterosexism.

Now that we have that out of the way, no, I'm not satisfied with Duke, or the world for that matter, and I'm not going to play nice anymore.

The other week I was at the LGBT Center looking at some pictures from the NC pride parade. They looked great, everyone appeared so happy to be out as LGBTQA. I was proud of participating in the parade and proud that all of it was documented. I found out a picture was submitted to be posted on Duke.edu from the parade. I then found out that my proud, gay, shirtless body was to be edited out to make the picture more palatable for webgoers. I was a little put off at first, and made a few jokes about being so.

Looking back, I am left awed that we felt a need to censor ourselves just to get some fucking exposure. Fuck that. Have you seen pictures from San Francisco pride parades? I think I saw less cock hanging out in the last porn I watched. When was the last time a little cock and balls killed anybody anyways (read: rhetorical)? Fuck dosing down sexual expression in order to placate a heteronormative society. Never again will I sit idly by while the way I choose to exhibit my sexuality is stifled, least of all by other members of the "community" in order to appease. It is counterintuitive to limit our own behavior; this is another way of perpetuating heterosexism by situating ourselves as having less deserving, meaningful experiences.

You know what else? Fuck marriage. Marriage is ritualized heterosexuality that implies that the correct way to pronounce yourself as a moral, upstanding society member is to be romantically partnered, straight and monogamous. This is institutionalized in American society through rewards (economic benefits, social status, etc.). In rewarding this specific type of relationship (or a relationship in general) U.S. culture is enforcing a heterosexist hierarchy.

If you're a fag, or even if you're not, why do you want to get married? I'm guessing it's because you want the same benefits afforded to straight people. In the fight for marriage, however, we're reinforcing many heterosexist ideals, not the least of which is that in order to be deserving of benefits, we need to mimic and imitate a ritualized historically heterosexual practice. Even in doing so, we're necessarily asking, pleading, for "equality" from those in a privileged position. I hope that theme is starting to seem counterintuitive, as it is a tool of oppression.

Further, let's say we get what we ask for, gay marriage. By incorporating ourselves into this heteronormative framework, we're simply otherizing those whose relationships still fall short of this monogamous, romantic ideal. If you actually care and think about what fighting for marriage means, you'll take the time to read the Beyond Marriage statement: http://www.beyondmarriage.org/full_statement.html. Perhaps, fighting against marriage altogether is a more appropriate way of actualizing a truly encompassing reformation of benefits.

I am sick and fucking tired of complacency. No, the concessions of straight culture are not enough. Being recognized for being different is not enough. The desire to be included, accepted (read: like a heterosexual) is a tool used to perpetuate heterosexism. Whether you have experienced it or not, verbal, physical and sexual abuse of queer people does exist, even on our campus. And I'm sure as hell not gonna play nice, at least about this, until it doesn't.